Mother’s Day Letter to My Son

Hi Alex,

Another Mother’s Day with you ‘over there’.

As I have done many times since you left this celestial planet Earth, I want to express my deepest gratitude: Alex, thank you for the biggest gift you have given me, MOTHERHOOD.

Since the heartbreaking and soul-shattering experience of your passing, my deeply felt sense of motherhood has expanded and intensified; every cell of my body seems saturated with ‘Mother’. In a weird way, this loss, grief, longing and utterly painful, initially unbearable journey, has only opened me up to a more profound range of motherly love and emotions. I have been feeling like this all-around life-giving mama with a deeper level of perception than ever before. ‘Mom’ flows through my blood and out of my pores, bridging the two worlds, earth and spirit, back and forth, receiving your love packaged in ever-unpredictable signs, surprising me in the ‘right’ moments and reminding me, always, of the unbreakable and ever-growing love between a mother and her child, between heaven and earth, the two of us eternally united. Love is powerful, and so is this never imagined journey of mine: grief has expanded me.

I am your mom! Lucky me I can say this! Alex, your coming forth through me for your life-and-beyond journey, has enlivened me from the moment I knew you were in my womb. While your transitioning has been the most painful, it has also been the most transformative teaching in my life.

Thank you, Alex, for the greatest gift of all time. Motherhood has changed me, expanded me, and continues to do so. But most of all, thank you for being at my side with your guiding love and shining light as I continue walking on this Earth.

Big hug,

Mom 

xoxo